the essence of such intimate conflict is not "love" but the difference between thinking patterns of men and women. This difference greatly affects both feelings and interpretations for the same event, and it misleads. The true "change of position" becomes possible only by understanding the difference of this thought, and the unnecessary conflict is reduced. Yoshida

Difference 1: rational solutions vs Sensibility of sympathy and focus of needs

Man's thinking has the attribute of "problem solving", and when it faces things, it tends to pay attention to "how to solve" than feelings expression. For example, if you complain that "your colleague was too badly and falsely accused," he responds first, "you should explain to your boss", but you don't notice the red eyes. On the other hand, women don't want to be able to press the solution immediately, asking for empathy, "you are painful". He said, "I'm still in a bad mood," he said, "I don't understand any of my bitterness," and thus contradiction. Yoshida

Difference 2: straight communication vs Difference between curve expression and information transmission

It is customary for men to communicate directly and say "what they want to say" directly. オナホールOn the other hand, women prefer "unintended intentions", and it is custom to use the suggestion to convey the request. For example, I think that it is getting cold today, and I expect to "put more cloak" or "insert the cloak", but the partner is "certainly cold" and does not converse any more. A woman may feel like "I don't understand my suggestion, I don't care at all," he said, "I think I should dress myself if it's cold, why don't say it directly." Such a shift of information transmission causes the dissatisfaction to be small. Yoshida

Difference 3: self digestion vs Difference between vomiting and emotional processing

When faced with stress and negative feelings, men prefer to "self digest" and become calm by themselves. For example, you can take a walk in the study or go for a walk. They think they avoid avoiding bad feelings. On the other hand, women are accustomed to "conspiracy" and heal their feelings by talking and spoofing. He said, "you need space to settle down, but you're too tough to hear." and you think that you don't tell me what you're hiding, and finally you get into the "chasing". Yoshida www.beyourlover.co.jp

Language: understanding differences and rearranging your opponent

The difference of thinking between men and women is not the one which is wrong, but the natural nature formed in the process of evolution. The key to resolving conflict is not to change the opponent to "the same person", but to find out this difference positively: when empathy is necessary, it is said that "I don't feel like listening to the solution right now, I want to comfort it." when I have a request, I would like to say, "I want you to help me with the cloak". When I give you a space to organize feelings, I say, "let's talk from calm down, and wait whenever you want to speak." The intimate relationship is deepened in the understanding by respecting the difference and communicating frankly.

"Deviation of thinking" in intimacy

"I think I'm a crybaby," he said, "I just want to comfort, but the other party is busy with the solution"